The Story of Kevmen Guy the Caveman

Like in all Oblivion stories, this one begins in a jail cell. Kevmen Guy was a high elf caveman. Nobody knows how this happened, because high elves are "high" and cavemen are primitive. We can only suppose that he was a more primitive version of the high elf. Anyways, he went the usual path any Oblivion player would. He followed the emperor out the secret passage, was given the amulet to be given to Jauffre, and left through the sewers. Soon, he found his way to Imperial City. There was only one problem though, he was blocked out by a huge wall. After looking around the wall for half an hour, he discovered a path. As he walked along the path, he saw a person and an opportunity. Quickly, he drew his sword and started slashing at the person. As the person was nearing death, she suddenly created this funny looking purple cloud which put Kevmen to sleep for a few seconds, giving her the time to punch him back. When Kevmen awoke, he struck back with his sword before being put back to sleep. This cycle continued for a while until Kevmen finally killed the random person. But when he checked what was on the person, he was very disappointed. Nothing but some clothes and about 2 coins. He continued looking for a way in to Imperial City, when he came upon a stable. Another opportunity. He found a great white horse and jumped on. He evaded the guards that began chasing him, and rode as far away as he could. That ended things for him in Imperial City. Oh well, he should head for Jauffre about now. Jauffre inhabited Waynon Priory near a city named Chorrol. After arriving, he gave Jauffre the amulet. In return, Jauffre allowed Kevmen Guy to access his chest of random equipment. Kevmen took a claymore, some arrows, and a better bow. Then, he decided to find a place to sleep. There was a house next to Waynon Priory, but someone was sleeping in the bed. Kevmen decided that since he was in heavy need of a bed, he shot the guy with a fireball. The guy was angry, and so he jumped out of the bed and threw a punch at Kevmen. Right before the punch hit Kevmen, the guy decided that he was tired, and so he got back on the bed and went back to sleep. Kevmen guy threw another fireball at him once he fell asleep again, but the same thing happened. This continued until the guy was severely injured, and ran out the door. Kevmen Guy decided not to pursue him because he was too tired to run from the guards that were outside. So Kevmen Guy slept. In the middle of his sleep, a random guy in a black robe came in and visited him. He told Kevmen Guy to kill someone at this inn somewhere. Before the robed man left, Kevmen got the opportunity to pickpocket him and get a lockpick and 5 coins! The next day, this Caveman learned a new spell! He decided to try it out, so he went into the stable at Chorrol and used his "Turn Undead" spell on a horse. Unfortunately, nothing happened, and guards came after him again. He quickly mounted another horse and fled. He returned to Chorrol when the guards had forgotten him, and blasted the owner of the stable with a fireball. The guards came after him again, but Kevmen couldn't get on a horse, and ran. When most of the guards went back, one of them stayed close after Kevmen. He decided to use his bow and shoot the guard. Since the guard only had a sword, Kevmen was safely out of his reach, as long as he kept running. So Kevmen was shooting arrows at the guard for a long time while running away from him. Many of his arrows missed, but finally, the guard died. Kevmen scavenged some better armor from the guard, and went back to Chorrol. Unfortunately, all the guards noticed him and started chasing. Kevmen was once again forced into running. He tried to pull out his bow, but didn't look closely at the road, accidentally jumped off a cliff, and died.