To eat, or not to eat

I have rewritten "To be, or not to be" as a fungus passage. This block of text basically describes the confusion this random man had to go through because he somehow obtained a large amount of MUSHROOMS!!!! And now, he doesn't have anywhere to put them. He tries to eat them, but there are too many. He tries to throw them away, but doesn't want to be wasteful. He wishes to give them to people who need food, but fears of their allergies. Anyways, here it is. Read for yourself:

To eat, or not to eat, that is the fungus question:
Whether 'tis more fungusy in the mind to suffer
The aches and pains of a fungus stuffed belly,
Or to take refusal against a sea of mushrooms,
And by opposing waste them? To waste, to refuse,
No more; and by a refusal to say we cannot explode
The great belly we use everyday, and the thousand natural mushrooms
That we are heir to: 'tis a great fortune
Devoutly to be wished. To gain, to inherit;
To inherit, perchance to donate – ay, there's the rub:
For in that mass of mushrooms what furthur good may come,
When we have shuffled off our own terrible hunger,
Must give us pause – there's the idea
That makes greatness of so much fungi.
For who would bear the pains and aches of hunger,
The belly's shrinking, the random man's randomness,
The burden of a massive debt, the people's mass-pat spree,
The great ripoff deals of the Uncommon Vanilla, and the massive space
That is required of the one who stores the massive amount of mushrooms,
When he himself might decide
With a generous mind who would get the mushrooms,
To eat and eat under a large mushroom's cap,
But that the spores of that great mushroom may cause his allergies,
The undiscovered allergy from his DNA
No one knew about, shall stall the decision,
And makes him rather hard to deal with the situation
Than to keep all of them by himself?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the great mass of mushrooms
Is passed generation to generation down the family,
And is the burden that they must carry,
With this mass of mushrooms their home turns small,
And lose the name of action. Eat them now,
The fair Mushroom! Food, in thy plate
Be all my troubles gone.